Duck, duck, duck, DATE
by candycanes
Summary: House loses a bet to Cuddy, and has to go on a date with Foreman, Cameron and Chase.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**** I co authored this story with my best house buddy "Wombat", this is my first house fic ever, so please be nice :-) oh yeah and by the way none of us live in English speaking countries so if something is misspelled or the grammar is wrong, please just try to ignore it! **

**- Candycanes**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from house.. :-( mimimimimimi**

Cuddy smirked "You gotta do it House"

"Oh come on.. You can't be serious??"

Cuddy (Who now had a gigantic smile glued to her face) took a step towards House "Oh but I am"

"Na-ah I'm not doing it" House looked very unhappy

"A deal is a deal, and besides you lost"

"But I…oh come on… You seriously want me to go on a date with Foreman, Cameron _AND _Chase???!"

"Come on, you had to know there was a chance you were going to lose the bet"

"Yes, but I wasn't counting on it"

"You're doing it, get used to it"

Cuddy walked over to her desk, sat down and pulled out some paperwork "Byebye House, tell me all about your little romance tomorrow!" Cuddy smirked to herself, and then started on her paperwork.

House hobbled out of Cuddy's office, and went out towards his bike. Damn, how can I take all of the ducklings on a date? It's bad enough already having gone on a date with Cameron, but to do it again? And this time with her, Foreman and Chase??!!

He looked down at his watch, a little past five, "Still early enough for a date" house mumbled while getting onto his bike

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE.

RRRING RRRING

"Just ignore it Eric" Wendy started kissing Foreman again but he pulled away

"Sorry, it could be important"

Foreman put the phone up to his ear "Hello?"

"PSSSST third street after PPTH , he will wait for you for three minutes, then leave, no money, no drugs, no funny business? Got it??"

"House.. What do you want? I'm kind of busy.."

"Oh I just called to say hi from your mom, she told me to tell you to remember to wear underwear next time you visit"

"I'm hanging up now"

"NO wait.. Do you have time for a uuhm little "business" meeting?"

"Can't it wait till tomorrow?"

"Why? are you getting laid?" House smirked

Foreman rolled his eyes, he knew better than to argue with house, he also knew that House would end up getting his way in the end anyway. "OK" Foreman sighed "Where?"

"Café Carlos!"

"Café!? What? Why?"

"Meet me in 10 minutes, bye"

"WHAT?? 10 minutes? I can't be there in ten minutes, are you..." DUT DUT DUT DUT

"Son of a..…"

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE

House was sitting at the café waiting for Foreman, already dreading the evening.

He had only been there for 5 minutes before he started flicking paper wads of his napkin trough his straw at a man sitting at the next table.

Foreman walked into the café spotted house and started walking over toward his table. "Sooo, why am I here?"

"I've seen the way you look at Chase, this has got to stop"

"Your kidding right?"

"No not at all… Cuddy's much better for you" House grinned widely

Foreman rolled his eyes while sitting down "You got me to come all the way over here just to tell me that?"

"Who were you with?"

"huh?"

"When I called, who were you with?"

"What? How'd you.."

"You were talking to someone before you said hello, and besides, you sounded out of breath. I was right, wasn't it? You _were_ getting laid?"

"That's none of your business.."

House smirked "Is it still that blond nurse, what's-her-face? Will? Windy? Sounds kind of like a Horse name, doesn't it? I've heard all of the rumors; she'll do it with anybody won't she? It wouldn't surprise me if she's done it with Cuddy too…"

"HEY! First of all her name is Wendy, and second what's up with you and Cuddy? You seem mad at her? And third, how the hell did you know it was her?

"You've got some chocolate on your lip, the exact same chocolate Wandy's always eating at the hospital. Better get rid of her before she gets too fat"

Foreman wiped his mouth of with his sleeve "Her name is Wendy, and you're an ass you know that?"

"I've been told.. Hasn't your mom ever taught you to use a napkin? not a sleeve? Tsk tsk"

Foreman stood up "Look, I'm not going to dump her just because you tell me to, she a wonderful woman, and hey? WHY AM I EVEN DISCUSSING THIS WITH YOU???" Foreman calmed down a bit "What's the meaning with all of this?"

House looked over towards the café kitchen "Sit down, it looks like our food is coming.."

"_What?_ I haven't ordered?.." Foreman looked confused

"I know, I ordered for you. Hope you like chicken, Forefore"

"_Forefore_?"

"Yup, your new nickname, like it?" 

"Noo"

"Good"

"I'm leaving now"

"Sit down, you are staying"

Foreman just shook his head and sat down, he knew that he had already lost this battle.

After they had eaten, House paid the bill, (With money he had gotten from the Hospital a.k.a Cuddy of course.) and they started walking out of the café.

"Nighty night Forefore, I've had a wonderful date" House said while batting his eyelashes.

"_Date?"_

House slowly lifted his bad leg over the side of the bike, and put his cane in the holder. "bye bye"

"Wait, was this a date? HOUSE?"

"I said bye Forefore, see ya tomorrow" House said as he drove of.

This_ was_ a date? Foreman thougth.

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE

**PLEASE R&R ,**

**And know it is time for PSYKO BABBLE with Wombat and MD (sorry, we couldn't control our self's. And it really doesn't make any sense...)**

**MD: YES! We are finally finished with our first chapter!!**

**Wombat: I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY**

**MD: No, no Wombat we are **_**finished **_**with the chapter**

**Wombat: I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY**

**MD: Nooo, we are finished!**

**Wombat: I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY**

**MD: --**

**Wombat: KNOCK KNOCK**

**MD: huh? Who's there?**

**Wombat: HECTOR!!!**

**MD: Hector who?**

**Wombat: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**MD: Hector who?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So here****'s the new Chapter, hope you like it. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!! Sorry about all the medical stuff, we really don't know anything about it, we just made something up. Please R & R! **

**- Candycanes **

"Hey House! Wait up" Cuddy yelled, running up towards the elevator, House had just gotten in. House gave her an evil "HA! HA!" smile, and quickly pressed the button for the fourth floor, and the doors closed right up in Cuddy's face.

House hobbled out of the elevator and went straight to his office. The whole hospital had probably heard about the date yesterday. And he was really not looking forward to Cuddy. She would most definitely just rub it in his face, and make fun of him.

House had barely gotten into his office and sat down, before Cuddy came bursting into his office. With a smile on her face, that would even make the Cheshire cat jealous.

"Sooo, how'd the date go?" Cuddy was now biting her lower lip, so she wouldn't laugh.

"Fantastic. I walked him home, gave him a goodnight kiss, he invited me inside, I followed him to his bedroom…"

"Come on House! Give me the juicy details! I wanna know" Cuddy said with a whiny voice.

House grabbed his cane, and carefully got out of his chair and limped into the next room, and starting writing something on the whiteboard.

"Oh forget it; but you know I'm going to find out sometime House!" Cuddy yelled and walked away.

"Cameron and Foreman go get an MRI scan, for Roy Mustang, the pyromaniac" Said House while still writing on the whiteboard.

"But we already did one, and it showed no signs of tumours!"

"Yes, but there are two new symptoms now, just do it or else I will tell everybody about how you flirted with me last night..!"

Foreman sighed.

"You" House said poiting at Chase with his cane "Stay here, I have something I want to discuss with you."

Chase gave House a weird look.

"There is something I have to ask you about" House started twirling his cane.

"Yeaaaah?"

"Will you.. uuh.. WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF STEVE MCQUEEN FOR ME?" 

"Whaat?"

"Uuh yeah, he's alone a lot, I don't really take that good care of him, so will you?"

House spotted Cuddy on the other side of the glass wall, where she was standing holding a piece of paper that said "DATE" with little hearts around it. 

"I... But… "Chase looked very confused.

"So can you come by my place tonight?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, to pick up Steve. Seven good for you?"

"Sure, uh, I guess so" Chase walked out of the room, with a confused look on his face. He walked passed Cuddy, it looked like she was about to burst into laughter. 'I wonder why' thought Chase.

Cuddy walked up to House "Soooo what'd he say?"

"He said that he would love to take Steve McQueen for me"

"You didn't ask him if…?"

"It doesn't matter if the date is not at a restaurant, does it?"

Cuddy laughed "You are going to have the date at your house? How romantic..!"

House just ignored her and walked out of the room.

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE

"Just relax, and lie still, Roy. It'll only take a couple of minutes, then you'll come out again" Said Cameron through the microphone into the MRI machine.

"O..Okay, I'm not afraid"

"So, what was House talking about, Foreman, did you really go out with him last night?"

"Hah.. Why do you ask? Jealous?" 

The patient started to breath fast.

"NO.. Not at all, I was just wondering if it was true…" 

Suddenly Chase walked in.

"So, Chase, what did House want?"

"Oh.. uh.. Nothing.. He just asked if I would take care of Steve McQueen for him."

"Why would…"

"HEY SHUT UP YOU TO" Foreman yelled "The patient is seizing!!"

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE

"See" Foreman said, while pointing at the MRI scan with his index finger "no tumours… Just like I said earli…"

"OH look how smart he is! Let's pick Foreman as our new leader! HAIL KING FOREMAN!"

Foreman rolled his head.

"Cameron and King Foreman, you go search his house. Chase, go do my clinic hours" House said while throwing Chase his nametag.

The day passed by with relative ease. And at five House went home to prepare his little date with Chase.

HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE-HOUSE

DING DONG!

House dry swallowed a couple of vicodin, then got up and opened the door.

"Hey"

"Hey, come on in" House said while limping back into his apartment, and Chase followed him.

Chase looked around House apartment, "You cooked??" Chase asked, while wrinkling his nose.

"Oh god no, I made Wilson do it!"

"Sooo where's the rat?"

"WHAT?? You really thought I was going to give you Steve??"

"Uuh yeah? Isn't that why I'm here??"

Chase sensed that there was something weird going on. Suddenly he realised that the table was set for two. Could House really have planned this?

"What's up with the table? Finally found yourself a girlfriend? Or are you just paying a hooker so you can pretend?"

"Nope, it's our anniversary, don't you remember??" House put on a hurt looking face.

Chase thought a little but quickly realised it was a joke. "Haha.. very funny.. So if I'm not here for Steve McQueen, why am I here?"

House hobbled into the kitchen and sat down, and motioned with his hand for Chase to sit down on the other chair.

"I think it's time for us to discuss about who and who not to fall in love with. 1. Not Cameron 2. Not Cameron and 3. Can you figure it out? Good guess, not Cameron."

Chase put a hand on the other chair, and gave House challenging look that said 'don't tell me who not to fall in love with!'

"Yeah, well you have to say something to get in to contact with you British people.. Sit down"

"I'm from Australia" Chase said while sitting down.

"Right.. Perfect blonde hair, blue eyes, a bit snobbish attitude and a figure that just screams BRITISH!!"

Chase rolled his eyes.

House pushed a dish of food towards Chase.

Chase stared at the food.

"It's Crème dela crème dela Wilson! Take, take"

Chase looked up at House "You taste it first"

"Haha, you think I put something gross in it?"

"I don't know.."

"I didn't even make it, Wilson did"

"You could still have put something in it…"

"Fine" House grabbed the dish and started putting food on his plate.

Chase stared at House until he was sure that there was nothing wrong with the food. Then grabbed the food and started putting some on his plate.

"Mmm this is actually pretty good" Chase said in his thick Australian accent.

Suddenly Chase turned Bright red in his face; he ran as fast as he could over to the sink and started drinking water straight from the faucet.

House burst out in laughter "What's a matter Chase don't you like chilli??"

**And now once again it is time for PSYKO BABBLE**

**M.D: Well that was chapter 2... :O**

**Wombat: You wanna hear something weird? OO  
M.D: Yeah, well that depends..?  
Wombat: Every night I wake up at around 3 o clock... OO  
M.D: Haha that sort of reminds me of the exorcism of Emily Rose... Remember how much we used to laugh when she bursted out NAAAMEES!! NAMEES! LUCIFOOR! Hahahahahahahah...XD  
Wombat: Hahahahah yeah I do... XD Nosebleed  
M.D: Wow woow! Watch it girl... no bleeding on the manuscript till next chapter!**

**Wombat: Sorry... just came by the cutest Hugh Laurie picture where he smiles like an angel... O  
M.D. WHERE!? WHEREEEEEE? GIVE IT TOO ME!! **

**Wombat: NA-AH HE'S MINE!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait****, we've been very busy with school (and playing sims 2 with with our newly downloaded house md sim characters XD) Sooo we had some doubts about this chapter, because we both sort of hate Hameron. But we hope it turned out okay! Oh by the way "wombat" is really crazy about the character, Eyes and she insisted on having him in the story!**

**Please read and review!!**

Foreman was sitting in the differential office, drinking coffee when Chase suddenly walked in.

"Hey, do you know what's up with House?"

"What do you mean?" Foreman put his coffee cup down.

"Well, he invited me over to his apartment to get his rat. But when I got over there he didn't want me to take the rat, and I ended up eating dinner?"

"Hah.. so you fell for it too. Huh?" Foreman chuckled and shook his head.

Cameron walked in "Fell for what?"

"Chase had dinner with House yesterday"

"YOU DI--" Cameron said in a high squeaky voice "Uhmm I mean you did?"

"Why? You jealous?" Foreman smirked.

Chase snorted.

Cameron put her hands on her hips "No.. Why does everybody think I'm in love with House? I'M NOT!"

Cuddy walked in "You're not what?"

"I'm not in love with House.."

"Okaay?.. Where is he by the way?"

"Office" House shouted.

"Come in here, I have the tests for your patient, and I think you might find it very interesting"

"What patient?" House yelled.

"Your patient? Eyes Rutherford 17 year old male, orphan?"

"Nope doesn't ring a bell"

"Collapsed at his own concert, with something _resembling_ a heart attack. Swollen fingers, presented with fever, fatigue and joint pain? You don't remember your own patient?"

"Oh yeah the dude with the blueish hair"

"House would'ya come in here already??"

"Can't"

"Oh? And why not?"

"I am deleting my new emails"

Cuddy rolled her eyes "Weeell you might want to come in here and see the results"

Cuddy smirked.

House slowly turned around with big eyes, then as fast as he possibly could grabbed his cane and limped in to the differential office.

"Could.. Could it be?"

Foreman stood up and looked at the test results "It's Lupus"

"Ooooiiijj!" House put his hand on his forehead "I wanted to say that" He smacked Foreman in the shins with his cane.

"OOWW!!" Foreman bent over his leg and started rubbing it.

"Yeah well that's what you get for.. aaa….aaa...AAATJUUU!"

Cuddy smirked. "Bless you"

House shook his head. "Ah-ah go away Cuddy!"

Cuddy's smile kept growing wider and wider.

House sneezed again

"Stop it. I'm serious. Go away"

House pushed Cuddy out into the hall and closed the door.

Cuddy knocked on the glass "How'd your date go??"

House smirked to her, and then closed the blinds.

"2 DOWN 1 TO GO" Cuddy yelled from the hallway before she walked away.

"ATJUUU" House rubbed his nose and sneezed yet again

Cameron walked over and sat down at the glass table "Are you ok?"

"Fine. AAAATJUUUU" House looked around the office and spotted an Iris plant "Oh god, who put that there?"

Foreman gave House a weird look "I did, it was a gift from the patients friend"

"Take it away I'm allergic to them."

"Okay?" Foreman said while walking over to the plant, "I'll go put it somewhere else".

House threw Chase his nametag "Chase, go do my clinic hours again"

"Whaat? But I did them yesterday.. Can't Cameron or Foreman do it?" He said in a whiney voice.

"Nope!"

"Hmmppff.. not fair" Chase mumbled while walking out.

House limped over to Cameron and sat down next to her. "So what are you doing after work?"

"ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE?"

HOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSE

LATER AT CAFÉ "Bread and Butter"

"House? House are you listening?"

House looked up from his empty plate, and little game of seeing how many sugar cubes could be stalked on top of each other. "Huh?"

"Well like I was saying, I'm not exactly sure of the reasons that you have invited me for. I know you also invited Foreman and Chase, but I am going to use this opportunity to get to know you and spend time with you."

"You know, I had a weird dream last night. It was something with Chase running around in circles screaming WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Weird huh?"

"WHAT? That was your response to everything I just said??!!" Cameron said with a surprised expression on her face.

House crossed his arms "Now, you weren't listening to my story at all were you?"

"YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO **MY** STO.."

"WAITRESS" House snapped his fingers "A bit more tea over here if you will.."

"I'm a man" The waiter said with a "U..U" expression.

"The customer is always right!" House said confidently.

The waiter walked over and poured House a cup of tea "Riiiight.."

Cameron sighed "I thought you didn't like tea.."

"I don't.." House said with a smirk.

"But then why..?"

"Have you ever heard the expression minus + minus equals plus.."

"What?"

"In this case, it's just unnecessary plus unnecessary and without the plus…"

Cameron crossed her arms. "You're a jerk"

"If you are gonna be mean I can just leave.."

"NO!.." Cameron got up "This time I am leaving!"

"Uuuuuuuh, trying the hard to get way today are we?"

"See you tomorrow!" Cameron said with a harsh tone in her voice.

House waved "Bye Honey!"

The waiter passed House table, and smirked at him.

"WAITRESS CHECK PLEASE"

"I'M A MAN!"

"na-ah customer!" House said while pointing to himself.

"Whatever" The waiter said while laying the check on the table..

House smirked.

HOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSE

House walked over and sat down on his couch next to Wilson.

"So how was your date with Cameron?"

"Fine"

House snatched the remote from Wilson grasp and changed the channel.

"Heeey I was watching that!!"

"Why watch CSI Miami when you can watch… SPONGEBOB!!"

Wilson sighed.

House put the remote down (a loooong way from Wilson's reach.)

"You know, it actually was sort of fun going on all those dates. But sometimes it's nicer just to stay at home and watch TV with you."

THE END

**Now.. YET AGAIN.. It is time foooor PSYCHO BABBLE..**

**Wombat + M.D. : ooooooooooooooooooooooooorh Said with big eyes..**

**Wombat: Hey M.D. why are you crying?**

**M.D.: sniff sniff BREAD AND BUTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER.. TT**

**Wombat: Ooooooooooooorh pat pat **

**(by the way to all you non Monk fans.. it's so sad.. -->**** look it up)**

**M.D. + Wombat: WELL TATA FOR NOW SEE YOU NEXT TIME****! IF YOU DARE O..O**


End file.
